While looking for Pam Fitzgerald on the web, I came across a brilliant short video about grief, living with death, and our ongoing connections with our loved ones. Clips of two movies, Last Orders (2001) and The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005) highlight the wishes of the departed and the desire of the living to meet those requests.
Pam Fitzgerald and Lysa Toye, both grief counsellors discuss the grief of the men involved in the two films, comment on their styles of grieving, the work of caring for the body. Film critic Peter Howell provides insights into the movies, and into coming to terms with life. It is simple, and beautifully woven together!
I recommend this as a nice introduction to grief.... have a look....
http://www.tvo.org/TVO/WebObjects/TVO.woa?videoid?75546064001
Kath
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Winter, time for dormancy and reflection?
Last week I received an e-newsletter from someone I knew 30+ years ago. It was interesting to read a message that I have shared in different words,(not nearly as poetic! :))about the need for dormancy in our lives.
Excerpts from David’s email:
“Pushed by ceaseless demands from all directions, it's easy to deny the significance of the winters in our life, especially in a world that measures progress and worth by external success, growth, and productivity. Yet after every autumn, there's a winter. After every harvest, there is a need for rest. After opportunity comes dormancy. After expansion comes retraction.
For those of us who live in northern climates, winter can cast a multitude of responses. There are winters of sadness and loss, winters of contemplation, winters of personal and economic recession, winters of rest, winters of disappointment, winters of darkness, winters of boredom, and, of course, if you are a skier, there are winters of celebration.
Whether short or long, I'm learning to flow with winter instead of fight it. Before I understood the vital importance of winter in the cycles of life, when winter was here I would wish that it was summer. When things were difficult, I wished they were easy. Since then, I have learned that wishing for it to be different was actually creating the problem. Now, instead of wishing it were easier, if I just stay present to what is here, then I somehow find value in what the difficulties and dormancy are bringing me. In this way, the dormancy is transformed into a gift.” (© 2010 by David Irvine david@davidirvine.com)
His writing reminded me of one of my favorite books given to me by a nursing colleague, “Sabbath, Restoring the Sacred Rhythm of Rest”, written by Wayne Muller. Muller explores the tradition of ‘sabbath’ across world religions, and suggests that not only can we look at Sabbath as a day, but as a moment, as a breath in time, set apart to rest.
In Victoria we have had an unusual cold spell, and the snow has lasted at least four days! Yesterday the wind was howling, and the snow was flying. It was beautiful. It was especially beautiful as we have a lovely wood fireplace, and it does a great job of heating our home. It was so beautiful that we were unable to leave it at bedtime and decided to camp in front of the fire to sleep last night. The glow from the fire was beautiful. It was a great end to a day of retreat, dormancy, and reflection.
Happy Winter,
Kath
Excerpts from David’s email:
“Pushed by ceaseless demands from all directions, it's easy to deny the significance of the winters in our life, especially in a world that measures progress and worth by external success, growth, and productivity. Yet after every autumn, there's a winter. After every harvest, there is a need for rest. After opportunity comes dormancy. After expansion comes retraction.
For those of us who live in northern climates, winter can cast a multitude of responses. There are winters of sadness and loss, winters of contemplation, winters of personal and economic recession, winters of rest, winters of disappointment, winters of darkness, winters of boredom, and, of course, if you are a skier, there are winters of celebration.
Whether short or long, I'm learning to flow with winter instead of fight it. Before I understood the vital importance of winter in the cycles of life, when winter was here I would wish that it was summer. When things were difficult, I wished they were easy. Since then, I have learned that wishing for it to be different was actually creating the problem. Now, instead of wishing it were easier, if I just stay present to what is here, then I somehow find value in what the difficulties and dormancy are bringing me. In this way, the dormancy is transformed into a gift.” (© 2010 by David Irvine david@davidirvine.com)
His writing reminded me of one of my favorite books given to me by a nursing colleague, “Sabbath, Restoring the Sacred Rhythm of Rest”, written by Wayne Muller. Muller explores the tradition of ‘sabbath’ across world religions, and suggests that not only can we look at Sabbath as a day, but as a moment, as a breath in time, set apart to rest.
In Victoria we have had an unusual cold spell, and the snow has lasted at least four days! Yesterday the wind was howling, and the snow was flying. It was beautiful. It was especially beautiful as we have a lovely wood fireplace, and it does a great job of heating our home. It was so beautiful that we were unable to leave it at bedtime and decided to camp in front of the fire to sleep last night. The glow from the fire was beautiful. It was a great end to a day of retreat, dormancy, and reflection.
Happy Winter,
Kath
Friday, November 19, 2010
“Give so Victoria Hospice can keep giving” Hospice is in need of funds....
In my late twenties we moved to Victoria and I was hired to work with Victoria Hospice. It was at Victoria Hospice that I learned about disease management, symptom management, and the dying process. I learned about being with the dying, about listening and silence, about loss and grief. I learned that some of the suffering that I had witnessed in both friends and patients throughout their dying could have been prevented with adequate education, skills and resources.
I enjoy caring for the dying, I am passionate about this work. However, I much prefer to provide this care with the knowledge, skills and resources that I have learned from Victoria Hospice. Victoria Hospice has led this work nationally and internationally. Much of the work occuring across Canada can be traced back to work initiated by Victoria Hospice. As owner and director of Life and Death Matters and LDMonline, I am concerned as I hear of the financial struggles facing Victoria Hospice. To see announcement, check this site:
http://www.atv.ca/victoria/4994_74424.aspx
Victoria Hospice in their infancy and first decade/s developed a strong foundation of excellence in patient/family care. Over the past twenty years, their knowledge and expertise has been translated into the classic texts "Medical Care of the Dying" and "Transitions in Dying and Bereavement". The education department provides the "Medical Intensive" and the "Psychosocial Care" courses on a semiannual basis. The research department collaborates with researchers from across the country to ensure and/or discover "best practice". This is an incredible team of people and they do incredible work!
Sponsoring Victoria Hospice will help people in Victoria and will help those further afield to provide excellent care. If you have contemplated donating money, donating to the thrift store, purchasing a text, or attending one of their courses... now is a good time to take action.
victoriahospice.org
Kath
I enjoy caring for the dying, I am passionate about this work. However, I much prefer to provide this care with the knowledge, skills and resources that I have learned from Victoria Hospice. Victoria Hospice has led this work nationally and internationally. Much of the work occuring across Canada can be traced back to work initiated by Victoria Hospice. As owner and director of Life and Death Matters and LDMonline, I am concerned as I hear of the financial struggles facing Victoria Hospice. To see announcement, check this site:
http://www.atv.ca/victoria/4994_74424.aspx
Victoria Hospice in their infancy and first decade/s developed a strong foundation of excellence in patient/family care. Over the past twenty years, their knowledge and expertise has been translated into the classic texts "Medical Care of the Dying" and "Transitions in Dying and Bereavement". The education department provides the "Medical Intensive" and the "Psychosocial Care" courses on a semiannual basis. The research department collaborates with researchers from across the country to ensure and/or discover "best practice". This is an incredible team of people and they do incredible work!
Sponsoring Victoria Hospice will help people in Victoria and will help those further afield to provide excellent care. If you have contemplated donating money, donating to the thrift store, purchasing a text, or attending one of their courses... now is a good time to take action.
victoriahospice.org
Kath
Thursday, November 11, 2010
A few highlights from the CHPCA conference
A few highlights of the CHPCA conference in Ottawa.....
1. Rubbing shoulders with colleagues from across the country..
2. Co-presenting "Food the Four letter "F" Word in End of Life Care" with Dr. Josh Shadd! It was so much more fun to do this presentation after another editing and deleting of slides, and having Josh address all the pathophysiology slides! (See last months blog!)
3. Attending the challenge panel ""Wounded healers" - Exploring Self Care in HPC". Eunice Gorman, Fred Nelson, David Kuhl each addressed the three questions, Am I taking care of myself well enough to do this kind of work? Do I offer myself the same kind of compassion that I offer those in need? When do I slow down to just sit with the reality of my own vulnerability?
Eunice introduced me to a new term, "vicarious resilience". This term is used to describe the positive effect of witnessing how people cope constructively with adversity. This term describes for me the inspiration I feel when I witness people adapt to loss, overcome significant challenges, and move forward with their lives in a way that they initially thought impossible. Because of these people, I have more faith in myself, knowing that others have walked this road, and that perhaps I too can walk this road successfully. Each time Eunice has presented, or each time I have heard her present, she has identified the joys of the work we do, while still acknowledging the challenges. I appreciate this positive acknowledgement of all that we "get" from working in HPC.
Fred Nelson, who had just won the CHPCA Award of Excellence, spoke from a very personal perspective in addressing each question. Sitting in this big room of people, in what was not an intimate setting at all, we were richly blessed by his generousity of spirit in allowing us into his heart, his world. And, as he told of the challenges of work, the need for exercise, the need for quiet time, time to stop/pull over, and the need for awareness.... he also provided great humour and opportunity for us to laugh!
David Kuhl works with the Center for Professional Renewal, with Providence Health in Vancouver BC. a few of his choice quotes...
- "We work in public but we hurt in private."
- "The air must be clean between and among us".
- "Expert, the person who has experienced every problem possible and made every mistake possible". (I love that definition!)
5. "T3:Not for Me" - Bruce Kennedy, pharmacist gave a riveting presentation providing insights into why codeine and codeine with acetaminophen products are poor choices for pain control, despite being the most popular Canadian prescription analgesic. He also presented another session on tips for palliative medications. Once again, great to have a palliative pharmacist ready to share their knowledge in a way that is easily understood!
6. "Improving EoL Care in First Nations communities", with Holly Prince. Holly has repeatedly been involved in interesting work in the First Nation communities. "Living on the edge: working with dying cancer patients in northern remote communities". And finally, "The significant work life experiences of community based palliative care registered nurses". One comment that impressed me was that many nurses working outside of the hospital setting, no matter how remote the community, may feel isolated by virtue of working alone, with few resources available to them.
7. I brought home Room 217's new cd titled Country Roads... which I listened to as I drove up island the other day... GREAT CD if you want some nice gentle bedside music and like some of the old country songs. Bev and her team are gifted at putting together fabulous music. (See http://www.room217.ca )
Unfortunately I missed a few of the keynote speeches, and was not able to attend all sessions.
Next year the conference is Sept 8-11, 2011 in St John's, Newfoundland, and promises to be an incredible experience! Book your tickets, use your air miles, arrange your holiday and education leave.... See you there!
Kath
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